The Doglist Guide to

It's undoubtedly the case that present day advertisements don't always tell you the whole truth. It might be the case that if their claims were proven to be outlandish, they might well be taken to court for misrepresentation, and rightly so. But it's clear that the claims made in most adverts are at best partial truth and at worst a blatant attempt to obfuscate (viz: the plethora of cosmetics adverts containing some esoterically-named miracle ingredient that no-one outside the cosmetics industry has the vaguest idea what it does).

So here at the Doglist, we're proud to bring you a portfolio of product names and product claims that we're unlikely to be seeing on our shelves or TV screens in the near future for hopefully obvious reasons: they tell the truth in a manner that is perhaps a little too rich for most advertising execs' stomachs.


Credit crunch biting? Stock up with good, tasty products from our 'Shyte' range at BASICS stores.

Ladies! Worried about wrinkles? Use KOND cream daily.
Don't be a wrinkly old bag - get KOND!

Don't know how to spend your bonus, bankers?
Do you crave poncey, overpriced food and drink?
Splash the cash on the 'Toffs' range at Fartling M'Horse.

...Cleans your toilets
...kills all known germs
...makes lovely sandwiches

Always losing your mobile phone?
Then get this 'Warble' wall-mounted telephone...
• one ringtone • no camera • static position
• only available in beige/sludge green
• only used for phone calls

Some dish's are best served cold...

Planning your last big move?
Look no further than Brian's Cemeteries.
Discounts for early booking
Stay chilled!


©2009 The Reader's Doglist Association of Great Britain