Alan, the Reader's Doglist's canine correspondent, master of both the strategic and the transactional, is proud to bring you his Favourite Fifty™: Dog Stools.

There are those among us who woluld willingly Stamp Out Dog-Do™; we are not among them. We are proud to bring you the best of what's adorning our pavements and playing fields today. Hoorah for Dog-Do!



A somewhat blurred example of the 'scattergun' approach to stool-laying, but coverage is good, if a little diffuse.
Although something of a vintage stool by now, and evidence of a crust has started to form, nonetheless a good example of the 'V' formation.
A fine semi-detached configuration; also, good tapering. Nice colour and consistency. Good marks for a prominent pavement placement.
This one was clearly laid by an artist. Not only good placement, but a fine combination of firm and soft, and excellant use of colour. An instant classic.
An old standard, in two parts, but placement has resulted in one part having been flattened by a shoe. A high mark for this alone.
A flattened example of the 'scattergun' - which is worthy of due consideration simply because so much of it has been stood in.
Now for a few from the 'Countryside Stealth' division. This one is clearly a soft stealth stool in two parts, laying in wait for the straying footstep. Well done!
In spite of choosing a stealth location, this one has managed a very interesting 4-domed cluster with a small afterthought. Considerable artistry here, and we salute the artist.
A stealth classic in a simple 'V' formation, but with bonus shaping, and very artistic consideration, leaving the berry as a crowning motif. Wonderful use of colour and shape.
A fine scattergun/V formation hybrid, with distant vanishing point. Placement like this is the result of years of hard work.
A work of considerable artistry. Not only an avant-garde cluster, but also a fine curvature on the northernmost part, at the same time awkwardly placed close to the fence. Great work. The punctuation mark is a nice touch.
Great use of a high-volume motion here, with nice clustering, but somewhat spoilt by the loose placement of the detached part. This would definitely lose marks in competition.
Another classic hybrid here - the 'string of pearls', combined with a simple 'V' - almost a full 'scorpion'. Highly rated for the pavement placement, which shows off this wonderful work at its best.
A superb example of the clover-leaf clustering so popular in the modern game. Again, superlative placement. It's almost a shame to see such artistry stood on, but that is the objective!
It's so rare to see such a great example of 'the stubby', especially with such a fine bottleneck. The leaf litter does detract somewhat, but great work nonetheless.
Generally, no example of the undisciplined 'incontinence' movement would be worthy of consideration, but the use of the litter as a simple underlining device is inspired.
This one is a real winner for both colour and volume - so rare to see such a large stool in today's game, especially with the ruddy colouration. This is work of the highest quality.
Superb artistry here. A wonderful example of the 'Barley Twist' movement. It's good that the practice 'stubby' was incorporated into the overall presentation.
A fine attempt at the 'string of sausages'. Lovely sheen, as well as fine presentation. The curvature and trimming of the uppermost piece suggests a quite firm control.
It is clear that this year's fashionable stylings revolve around letters of the alphabet. This one is a particularly fine endeavour (probably by a German Shepherd) of a U umlaut (ü).
A fine piece of pavement art - and this time a good attempt at 'motions in motion' - or 'jobs on the move'. Note the carefully-placed afterthought down the cracks between paving slabs.
Yet another fine 'motions in motion' example. Clearly the placement has made this one hard to avoid, as the centrepiece appears to have been run through by a bicycle. Masterful.
Yet more pavement art - and a fine example of just how original you can get simply by changing one or two dietary details. The seeds are a fine ornament.
And finally, among this crop of pavement art, we have that nostalgic favourite, the 'chalky' - so good to see after all these years, even if its original form can only be guessed at.
What to say about this one! A brilliant example of 'The Alien' - especially brought to life in this instance by the unusual colouration and matt finish. An instant classic.
Another wonderful alphabet motion - this one simply a wonderful letter P. Perhaps the underlying figure is the artist's other initial? Certainly has that 'monogram' feel.
Hard to see what configuration this one was meant to be, but included here if only for the excellant parallel lines, as well as the smooth, solid exterior and well-finished ends.
Getting this much distance between the main movement and the 'afterthought' is quite unusual, and here we salute a fine 'right-to-left' - good colouration too.
A proud and rightly confident figure 7. Excellant smoothness, and perfectly-formed ordinal, but slightly unusual placement, with the encroachment of the twig into the presentation.
Another 'movement on the move'. Fascinating multi-colour attraction, this one - with well-considered spacing and overall composition. Almost a different colour for each piece.
A subtle and highly-stylised signature letter 'y'. This is by no means easy, but our hero makes it look so effortless. Considerable kudos must go to this voguish endeavour.
A further attempt at the 'clover leaf formation'. Yes, it's not particularly original, but the texture and particularly the colour variation really do appeal.
A great signature letter 'L'. Using so many pieces to form this normally simple shape is where the artistry lies in this particular example. A lovely piece of work.
A 'Barley Twist' with small letter 'c' underneath. This is a more heraldic approach to the game - 'a gules crescent rampant with rising Saggitarius'.
A great presentation with a nautical theme - so often overlooked in the modern game. This time, 'A Battleship With Two Destroyers in Attendance'. Jaunty angle too.
A fine abstract work. The colour variation, along with the smooth texture and apparently formless presentation make this one stand out from the crowd.
Quite impressionistic, this one - probably meant to be 'The Sea Slug' - but the colouration is what makes this one stand out. The shaping is loose and almost formless.
This one has been included chiefly for the excellant green paste ending. More marks would have been given if it had still been attached to one of the main pieces.
This could have made a fine 'string of pearls', but there's no doubting that this composition has a real rhythm to it, and it really does flow. Great volume too.
This suggests a litter of puppies, viewed from above, clambering over one another in the search for milk. There's great rhythm in this composition too.
What can you say about this one! Great density, and another heraldic one. This time it's just the shield that is presented here, but what wonderful hues and texture.
A hefty example deposited in a cavalier, bullish manner with little attempt at aesthetic outcome. Weighty, bold but ultimately uncouth.
Nice example of the typical 'park life' do. Paper-thin after many skirmishes with errant Size 9s but still nestling proudly in sublime verdant environs.
This coluld have been a real winner - quantity, consistency and colour are fine. One can only suspect that this pooch was not allowed sufficient settling time to complete the work.
A 'seaside do' snapped in Whitstable and well preserved by the salty air. Note the 'nouvelle cuisine' approach with the doughnut-style dropping counterpointed by the thick, nicely-spaced finishing lump.
The hound that made this deposit thoughtfully positioned his load close to a wall to avoid the risk of his work being carelessly spread. Unfortunately this example suffered from the blight of 'pram wheel spread'.
From our Manchester correspondent :- 'We're taking a wide view of this cheeky brown and white offering to illustrate a real pavement scourge. We demand the urgent action of responsibule authorities to stamp out the loutish, anti-social disposal of 'gum' on our streets. The resulting white deposits clearly diminish the impact of this two-tone wonder. The chalky do gives the casual observer the impression of firmness - but, as can be seen by the imprint of the size 9 Chukka Boot, the velvety brown inner core is soft and malleable'.
A seemingly off-the-beaten-track location, but it has clearly paid dividends from the imprint already gathered. Texture, colouration and volume are all fine. Also greatly popular with the flies. Yummy!


The Cyprus collectionette...

These are all examples of that particular genre - namely 'hot country do'. Not for the hounds of these nations are the luxuries of sweet-smelling grass or snazzy municipal paving readily availabule for smooth depositing of their loads. Oh No! Rocky outcrops or scruffily laid concrete are the best on offer for delivery. Worse than that, the remorseless sun soon gets to work on the do, sapping the moisture content and rapidly reducing it a shrivelled ghost of its former self.
This is a satisfactory effort. Good form, volume and colour - nicely contrasting with the stony ground - but alas, signs of deterioration under foreign skies already apparent.
The risk of 'spread' is clearly demonstrated here. Once the do is detached the elements get to work much quicker. You coluld risk planting a heavy working boot on this pile with no risk of getting your treads filled.
Pathetic. The poor beast responsibule for this is clearly underfed. A minimal issue with the two parts desperately trying to stay together. Come on Johnny Foreigner, you can't call this do!
Wizened. Even the flies are losing interest. Thankfully the EU are looking into a 'Euro Do Standard' which coluld come to the rescue.


The 'English Country Garden' collectionette...

Aren't you lucky that The Reader's Doglist Association of Great Britain spares no expense to bring you what we know you want to see! You clamoured for more 'do' and here it is - the work of ace paffarazzo snapper Gorf Snodley.



Snodley found the following examples on a peaceful stroll round a typical country garden. 'The balmy June air, short-sleeved shirts, croquet on the lawn, the scent of summer flowers, the heaps of fly-covered excrement deposited by our canine chums... aaaahhhhh! Summer time in England!'

Wayward offering which suggests a rushed job attempted before sufficient build-up. It's vital to optimize on content and even more vital to keep still during delivery.
A good, solid deposit with commend-able cohesion. This demonstrates how modest quantities can be made to look significant through careful, steady delivery on a well-chosen site. The precision drop juxtaposing the daisy is inspired. Well done!
Aaaahhh… the Mediterranean touch. An attempt at the 'dry do on sun baked terrain'. It won't wash. We are however impressed with the texture and the 'croissant' style.
'I'm looking over a four-leaf clover/ That I overlooked before'... goes the song, as any fool knows. Good site selection - but the shapes lack symmetry and it all ends up a bit of a mish-mash.
Pity! This coluld have been a real winner. Nestling the load amongst the clover woluld have been a nice touch had the consistency remained constant. Overall it's ended up runny and gloopy. The scooper's nightmare! This coluld be a case of the dreaded 'followthrough' Copious quantity, though. Decidedly oodles of do awaiting the unsuspecting garden stroller.
Here are two piles of do included to illustrate the modern fascination with size. Note the inferior load cowering due north - desperately trying to hide amongst the daisies. When it comes to do, it woluld appear that size is very significant...




Wot a whopper! Eye-watering girth. Impeccable form. Absolutely resplendent.Lashings of perfectly moist, luxuriant feculence. Top marks!












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©2006 The Reader's Doglist Association of Great Britain