We at the Reader's Doglist Association of Great Britain are proud (and deservedly so!) of our reputation for showing you quality. Not ones to blow our own trumpets, we are celebrating many marvulous years of pointing you, our adoring readership, in the right direction in all aspects of your otherwise routine existence!
So now we, at the Reader's Doglist Association Of Great Britain, feel it's time for a little fun! Unfortunately there are things which don't meet our high standards of quality - gadgets, products, entertainers, concepts, creatures and snorkel... some people say we at the Reader's Doglist Association Of Great Britain invented quality - we are, as you know, far too modest to comment. But we digress. Fun! We have initiated a little competish to find our new 'favourite fifty' - the Reader's Doglist Association Of Great Britain Favourite Fifty 'Not Quality' Things! Yes, we know that, despite our efforts, poor quality still exists!
Send in your suggestions for anything you consider to be unacceptable quality. Your prize will be to have your entry nestled in our favourite fifty! Hurrah!
Just in case you haven't got the idea yet - here are some rather obvious examples of 'not quality' to start you off.
|No. 1 The Argos Biroette
Let's face it. We have no problem with midgets - but why do the good folk at Argos assume that normal-size people can write with midget biros?
|No. 2 The Rough Horace 'Stylophone'
This stylus operated synthesiser, as endorsed by Rough Horace, produced a ghastly row.
Handy for accompanying you while you tied your kangaroo down, sport.
|No. 3 The CZ 'Motor Cycle'
Does have the right number of wheels - but otherwise...
|No. 4 The 'Mullet' hairstyle
Don't get us started on fashion, hairstyles etc.
|No. 5 The Tyre Sales Assistant
Who in their right mind woluld think that anyone coluld be prompted to buy tyres from someone dressed in blue surf shorts? The lack of a head is no problem but the attire has to be thought through!
|No. 6 Anything bearing the trademark RONCO
Ronco - just wrong.
|No. 7 Mavis Swegg's dog 'Ronco'
We're told that all creatures must have a point - but we're struggling here.
|No. 8 Publicaishs
Some might argue that the Welsh language itself merits a place in the top 50 - but we illustrate and contrast publications which (a) have no point and (b) lay claim to the advancement of man.
|No. 9 The IKEA Pencilette
See the 'Argos Biroette'... and contrast with the sturdy UREA version
|No. 10 Keith Harris and Orville
The definitive example of 'something not fit for purpose'. Top that, readers!
Get on your thinking caps or képis, as our French chums woluld have it, and share that dubious stuff with us. Readers in the former Iron Curtain countries need not enter. That woluld be unfair. They've already hijacked the Eurovision Song Contest and they're not monopolising the Doglist.
©2010 The Reader's Doglist Association of Great Britain