CELEBRITY CHEF #2: HAIL 'BALE' SSSSSSS

This is sensational new Celebrity Chef - Hail 'Bale' Sssssss.

Hail descends from a long line of Cornishmen with a lifetime's experience of leaning on gates and chewing straw. His television series Slow down with Sssssss commences shortly on the Food and Snorkel channel.

Look forward to more Slow Country Classics from Mr. Sssssss!

Hail 'Bale' Sssssss


Hail 'Bale' Sssssss' Cornish Ventongimps


Cornish Ventongimps
Cornish Ventongimps

List Of Ingredients

  • 4oz stives - chopped (though it doesn't make any difference)
  • icelandic glit
  • foreskin display bitten slap
  • bhrgh
  • untamed pungent bulb
  • sasafras plant
  • molluscus skin
  • spine seed pod prick
  • whortleberry foreskin
  • green sticky resin

Bus in Northolt
Bus in Northolt
The Method

The ingredients are simple, the method is simple. Everything about this recipe is simple. And slow. Sometimes it can take months to find all these stunning items of indigenous flora and fauna. Simmer the lot in a large vessel. Some exponents of this arcane, celtic craft use specially reinforced tin baths and our chef is no exception. The cooking process can go on for hours.

Sssssss says 'I like to go for a Whipsnade while I'm waiting' (Seems like a good idea, readers!)

Eat slowly. Chronic bloating and flatulence are a natural by-product. Don't worry.




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