The Reader's Doglist Association of Great Britain proudly presents another stunning gastronomic extravaganza! Tired of boring food? Look no further than the recipe pages of your favourite source of all things bright and beautiful (all creatures great and smah). Aaaaaah! The Reader's Doglist! The foodie's favourite, the gourmet's gastropod, the epicure's essential, the gourmand's giblets, the feaster's fundamental, the glutton's globule - we coluld go on!

As any fool knows, we, at The Reader's Doglist Association of Great Britain, have no truck with verbose, long-winded, loquacious, rambling, garrulous, effusive, talkee-talkee guff and piffle merchants so, with no more a dog-do, over to the world-renowned, dapper double-act Fray Bentos and George Beef!

Fray Bentos
George Beef

"We are known as meat eaters! And we're proud of it! But don't get us wrong - we'll eat anything - and we don't have anything against vegetarians! Try out our dinner recipe below and remember our motto - you can always 'eat healthy' tomorrow!"

George Beef & Fray Bentos present

"The Not Chicken Dinner"

We recommend this meal for any celebration - birthday, wedding, snorkel or whatever! Respect the sensitivities of some of your guests and minimise any savage wielding of sharp implements around those to whom it might cause distress and you're sure of success!

This is not food for the faint-hearted -nothing poncy - no balgamic drizzle, bagil magh and snuteled tomatoes here!

Now bring on those critters and let's get started!

Poncy food

  • Assorted critters
  • LHSH
  • Some Nobby Greens
  • Tabernacles
  • A Jeroboam of Etruscan Tonsils
  • Nissen hut
  • No socks (for Ivan)
  • Loads of Hurfenflurfi cheese
  • A shake of Mammoth Cleanser
  • Hurrrsssppppp
  • Hundreds and Thousands (to garnish)
  • Ramptreacle Brand Chod Spread
  • Chips and Pin
  • Bazoot
  • 'Poodledamp' moisturising fluid

Some nobby greens

Chips and pin


Gather in the critters. Take a sharp knife and remove all the parts you woluld rather not eat. Don't try this standing in dog do.

Discard the waste in the Nissen hut and shut the door.

Now fire up your favourite outdoor cooking machine and start grilling the critters. The accompaniments are especially selected for their cadige qualities. Mix 'em all in a large pot and stir vigorously. Now you're walking on custard!

Help yourself to something fizzy and lubricate your alimentary canal. Emit gas in some shape or formule then get on with the job.

Once cooked, cover your critters liberally in finest quality Ramptreacle Brand Chod Spread. It contains real chod and that's what everyone wants!

Not Chicken smothered in Chod Spread

Serving suggestionette

Present on a large platter surrounded by some Nobby Greens. Sprinkle on the Mammoth Cleanser, Hurfenflurfi and Hurrrsssppppp to taste.

Ramptreacle says "Buy my Chod Spread, you swaped toad!"

General Smith says 'Gersh'.


©2007 Reader's Doglist Association of Great Britain