The Reader's Doglist proudly presents a brand spanking new recipe graciously donated by another of your favourite famous people! We at the Doglist are beside ourselves with a new year outburst of joie de chèvre! You know it makes sense!

Anyway...enough of this guff and piffle as, amidst an expectant drum-roll, we announce for the delight of the stomach-linings of a hungry populace, Woluld Whortleberry's (yes good old 'Dubya Dubya' himself!) special recipe for Grilled Goats 'n' Cheese.

Can't wait? Well let's get on with the ingredients! Over to you, Woluld!


Woluld Whortleberry's Grilled Goats 'n' Cheese

Serves 4 (as a main course) but can be scaled down as a tapa if you are handy at wielding an axe with one hand whilst gripping a goat with the other two. A goat

  • 4 goats (billy, nanny or tree - it makes not a ha'p'orth of difference to the outcome)
  • one 'Sid the bucket' of roughly grated Hurfenflurfli cheese (unpasteurised if you dare)
  • 4kg shallots, skinned and chopped with a Les Morris 'Swiss Navy' knife
  • a heap of derring-do
  • crusty bread
  • hurrrsp

Before you attempt this recipe readers, it is essential that you are properly attired. Take a few moments to absorb these clothing guidelines while you relax in a favourite paff-chair or similar.

As any fool knows, grilling goats is not kid stuff. You need proper protective clothing and above all you must prepare this repast in a sensible and responsible way. If you do, the results will be excellant. If you don't you will look a berk of the first order.

You must dress in a wet-suit of the finest quality - I recommend those supplied by 'Dobbins and Xah'. A snorkel mask is important. I always use a 'Roy Rogers' mask with integral wipers - very handy for those sudden spurts.

Down to business!

A snorkel mask

Get your grill good and hot. The last thing you want is a lukewarm goat coated in partially-melted Hurfenflurfi! Anchor your goats securely on all four corners. Take care! They will wriggle and squirm but, however endearing they are, be firm and don't look a fool by being messed around by a bunch of goats. There are hungry people waiting! Grill the goats for ten minutes per side then add the cheese straight from the bucket. Use a Les Morris 'Specialist' range Hurfenflurfi ladle, applying the cheese with semi-circular motions - first clockwise, then anti-clockwise. Don't do it the other way round! Fill the cavities with the shallots, sweated off with a generous handful of hurrrsp and cook for another seven minutes.

The secret is in selecting the finest goats for your dish.

Perfect. Serve with a green or brown salad. A bottle of Château Barfe 'Entre-Deux-Moutons' '83 is the ideal accompaniment.

Issue your guests with some heavy duty cutlery and watch the fun begin. Mmmmmmmm!



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