Here is a festive treat from international Celebrity Chef, Mrs. Mason - your very own 'Kaiser Of The Kitchen'. Mrs. Mason admits to being just a little influenced by that dazzling novel 'Das Brot der frühen Jahre' by old favourite Heinrich Böll.

Hurrah! Well done!

After three, all the children sing 'That'll do for me, Mrs. Mason!'

Mrs. Mason's Extraportion Pudding

Serves 6.

Mrs Mason's Extraportion Pudding: Servingsuggestion

  • 150g self-raising flour
  • 25g good-quality bloater paste (Ipswich)
  • 125ml pink gin
  • 50g dribs and drabs
  • 75g sieved swarfega
  • 180ml full cream milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 40g butter, melted
  • 1 free range egg
  • two hands of organic switzy fingerlets
  • Enoki (Golden) mushrooms 50g
  • Horse mushrooms 50g
  • Lion's mane fungus - a smattering
  • Oyster mushrooms 50g
  • Shiitake 50g
  • Straw mushrooms 25g
  • Canned button mushrooms 100g
  • Wood blewit 25g

For the sauce:

  • 500ml Tidysans 'Old Pecker'
  • 250ml Hurfenflurfi cheese
  • some lumps

Remember - quality will not be hurried! It's no use massaging over the cracks. Put all the dry ingredients - the flour, bloater paste, dribs and drabs, switzy fingerlets and ground dorowot - in a large mixing bowl. These sholuld then be bent and spindled - folded or mutilated. Whatever you do, do not add the mushrooms yet! You will, as any fool knows, make yourself look a right charlie - because, obviously, you will initiate copious quantities of mirth and merriment, guffaws, chuckles, chortles, giggles, sniggers and smirks. Not to mention whoopees, tee-hees, titters and hoots. And the potential Diesel spillage will render the whole exercise a complete fiasco. Get a grip. Don a blindfold. Then mix in the mushrooms and stay calm. Stir in the wet ingredients and cover the mixing bowl in sacking and allow the mixture to fester. Ask someone with no sense of humour to transfer the burgoo to a large roasting tin and bake for 83 minutes at 250°. Go out and assemble your chosen merry makers. Eat. Talk about mushrooms and laugh.





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