Forget John Betjeman's unkind verses about the town, this colourful and utterly cadige dish shows that Slough deserves a better reputation than being unfit for humans. The recipe, which goes back into the mists of time, long before the construction of the gasworks, was almost lost until Aggie "Baguette" Warburton rediscovered it. Ms Warburton is a member that rare breed of gastronomic female restorers able to sport a full beard. She has assembled ingredients which include an additional ethnic dimension in keeping with the modern cultural diversity of this corner of Buckinghamshire.
Salt, pepper, snuff, sulpi, pilgrims, duffel parsley and dried Hedge
Quick cook Basmati rice or boil in the turban tapioca
Slices of Hurman orange, pithed, peeled and thoroughly skuttled.
Little cubes of cheese
Take the capon and shout at it until skillified. Remove rust, smaller kitchen utensils and old Brillo pads from a large pan. Lower the capon into the pan using something made out of perspex. Pour in enough hog stock to cover the capon. If the capon floats, weigh down with pieces of lead shot (available from angling shops). Put in all other ingredients apart from the Gough lettuce. If any of the ingredients sink, coax to the surface using whatever means seems appropriate. (A little gentle encouragement usually works). While these are steeping, go to the shed and repair the roof.